Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

5 Nice Little Beliefs

1. Once, all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella.
- THAT'S FAITH!

2. When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.
- THAT'S TRUST!
 
3. Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next morning but still we set the alarms to wake us up.
- THAT'S HOPE!


4. We plan big things for tomorrow inspite having zero knowledge of the future.
- THAT'S CONFIDENCE!


5. We see the world suffering... But still we get married?
- THAT'S OVER CONFIDENCE!!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Plastic Surgery = Lies

CHINESE MAN SUES WIFE FOR BEING UGLY, AND WINS

This is not new news, but it bears repeating. Northern Chinese resident Jian Feng divorced and sued his wife for $120,000 and won! The story goes that Mr. Feng was deeply in love with his beautiful wife until they had a baby girl.

Feng was horrified at how ugly the baby was and demanded to know who his wife had cheated on him with because the bab
y resembled neither of the parents.

It was only then that his wife confessed that she had received intense plastic surgery to look radically different. Feng divorced and sued his wife under the terms that she had gotten him to marry her under false pretenses!

Not only did the woman pay $100,000 for the surgery to make her pretty, she had to pay $120,000 to a guy who apparently only loved her for the looks she paid for.


Sunday, November 25, 2012

7 New Wonders Of The World

7 new wonders of the world - all in Malaysia

Organisers recently announced the seven new wonders
of the world. Here in MALAYSIA Bolihland we have our very own 7 wonders.

1. THE ZAKARIA 'PALACE'
The only building built with no approval and unpaid
assessment fees that is not demolished and sealed. The owner is the first
bankrupt to be able to own  a palace.

2. THE 'BOCOR' PARLIAMENT
The unique feature is its ability to 'leak' away billions of taxpayers
money while the guardians of the nation stood
there all wet.

3. 'UNHAUNTED' KUCHING PRISON
The only $600M prison in this world that is free of haunted stories
and encounters.  Reasons No execution was done here before. In fact no
prisoners were held in here.  There are also no concrete walls with
barbed wires to contain souls - both dead and alive..  Maybe it can
qualify as the first imaginary prison built with real money.

4. PAYA INDAH 'WASTED' WETLANDS
The nation's premier eco-tourism park holds the record in the category of
attracting more lawyers with litigation than tourists with binoculars.

5. 'NOT SO' SMART TUNNEL
Uniquely design to alleviate floods. When completed, it does everything
except alleviate floods.

6. 'DISCONNECTED' CYBERJAYA
The one and only high tech city in the world that offers limited or no
internet connection to its residents.

7. CROOKED 'CROOKED' BRIDGE
The most crooked bridge in the
world dreamt by a most crooked mind. Too
bad it was abandoned; otherwise it would make it as one of the wonders.

LATEST 8 WONDER :
1ST MALAYSIAN ASTRO MAN BLASTED OFF TO NOWHERE WITH
MILLIONS OF RAKYAT MONEY BURNT IN 10 DAYS FOR THE MOST EXPENSIVE SPACE
EXPEDITION HAS ENTER INTO THE MALAYSIAN GUINESS BOOK RECORD AT 10 PM ON
0CT 10, 2007. BRAVO!

HANYA DAP ROCKET - TAK BOLEH NAIK !!

TARGETTED NEXT WONDER:-

THE RUSSIANS ARE LAUGHING... THIS IS GOOD BUSINESS!!! SO THEY ARE
OFFERING ANOTHER TAXI RIDE TO NOWHERE FOR ANOTHER MALAYSIAN ASTO-NUT /
ANGKA SAWAN. SO PEOPLE OF MALAYSIA, BE PREPARED TO FORK OUT ANOTHER
RM100 M ++ AND BRACE FOR BARANG2 TERUS NAIK PUNYA
BECAUSE WE ARE
PAYING FOR IT....

MALAYSIA MASIH BOLEH (BAYAR) ....OR SO THE GOVERNMENT SAYS.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Einstein Was Right

Chatting in a cafe

Get together in a restaurant

Enjoy a cuppa

Relax in the sun

Spend time with loved ones

Support your local team

Take a ride in a convertible

Appreciating art in an Art Gallery


Albert Einstein: "I fear the day when technology overlaps with our humanity. Then the world will only have a generation of idiots."

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Adult Joke: The Beard

A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
  

James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!

 "Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice..
  
 "Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!

 The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in.
 
That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
  
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Free Thosai Outside Deputy Inspector-General's House

B Nantha Kumar | May 16, 2012
An Indian NGO claims that it wants to promote the heritage dish and denies that it has anything to do with the burger protest outside S Ambiga's house. 

Malaysian Police

KUALA LUMPUR: Fancy a free thosai breakfast this Sunday?
If you do, then head down to Ampang as a coalition of 20 Indian non-governmental organisations (NGOs) are planning to set up a thosai stall in front of the Deputy Inspector-General of Police Khalid Abu Bakar’s residence on May 20.

Urging the public to attend the event, the movement dubbed WargaAMAN, said the stall would provide free thosai to all this Sunday, starting 10am, at Jalan 2/7G, Taman Bukit Teratai, Ampang.

WargaAMAN secretary S Barathidasan claimed that the event had “no connection” with the burger stall set up by some traders in front of Bersih co-chairperson S Ambiga’s house last week.

Last Thursday, a group of burger sellers staged a protest in front of Ambiga’s house by distributing 200 burgers.

Organised by an NGO called Malaysia Small and Medium Entrepreneurs Alliance (Ikhlas), they set up the stall to show their displeasure over the April 28 Bersih rally, which Ikhlas claimed had disrupted their livelihood.

The NGO alleged that burger stall owners had suffered losses amounting to RM200,000 due to the rally, concentrated in certain parts of the federal capital.

Subsequently, Khalid, when asked why the police did not act against the burger stall owners, had replied that it was not wrong to sit in front of anyone’s house provided they did not disturb the occupants of the dwelling.

The DIG had said that there was nothing wrong with protesting outside a person’s house as long as the occupants are not disturbed.

“What offence? If you want to sit in front of her (Ambiga’s) house without disrupting other people, there is no offence.

“As long as they don’t commit any offence such as trespassing on private property, we will not take action,” Khalid had told a press conference in reference to the “burger protest.”

WargaAMAN, however, is firm that the event in front of Khalid’s house this Sunday would not be a protest but more of a thosai promotional event.

“We plan to promote thosai… Malaysians seems to have forgotten about the dish which had been classified as a heritage food by the Malaysian Heritage Department. “So, the event will be more of an awareness campaign… it is more to introduce the dish than a protest,” added Barathidasan.

Apart from a free thosai meal, the public would also be taught how to make good thosai.

“Since Khalid had said what he said, we chose his house. This is the assurance he gave. Moreover he is the number two cop in the country… it would be very safe outside his house,” he quipped.

‘Licence to grill’
In a related development, another NGO condemned the vulgar aerobic exercise staged outside Ambiga’s house.

Persatuan Kebajikan, Sosial Gemilang Puchong president V Rameshwaran said he was apalled that ex-servicemen could stoop so low.

“This is disgraceful, these men are supposed to be role models for the younger generation. It is a shame that they chose to behave in such a crude manner.

“It is acts like these that upset the public and turn Malaysia into a laughing stock. It will also make the people angrier with Barisan Nasional,” he told FMT.
Rameshwaran said Ambiga was defending the constitutional rights of Malaysians, including that of the ex-servicemen who staged the lewd protest.

As for the police’s justification for not acting against the “burger” protest, he suggested that stall owners whose premises were demolished by DBKL should set up stalls outside the houses of the mayor and Khalid.

“This is wonderful news. Now everyone has the ‘licence to grill’ outside anyone’s house, including that of the mayor, police chief, prime minister and ministers,” he said.

Source: Free Malaysia Today

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Speed Control

Clever speed control in Israel
See these photos... Especially the last one!
How's this for high-speed control?

Description: cid:9F2F36ACA67F4638BFEF7A1A582E46B1@yourxb2x7j77gn
When drivers pass by, they almost stop completely due to the holes and to avoid car damages.
Description: cid:561E3E543C124A97A1BDC964D0550430@yourxb2x7j77gn
This is a strategy currently used in Israel as a high-speed control..
It is more economical than using cameras, radar, police officers, etc.


Description: cid:912EB299D62A437EB0154308BE7E482C@yourxb2x7j77gn
Very clever…..
Especially when they move them around every day!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Monday, April 23, 2012

Make Your Facebook Status Funny

     Here are some great ideas for your Facebook status updates. The answers to some of these questions may seem obvious at first, but let’s see what kind of comments they provoke from your Facebook friends. These Facebook Status Messages will be sure to get your friends interested and like and comment on it! Here are some of the funny and Clever Facebook statuses for you!

Clever and Funny Facebook Status:

  • ....."When I say 'I MISS SCHOOL' it means my 'FRIENDS AND THE FUN' not the 'SCHOOL'."

  • ..... In the Beginning, God made the Heaven and Earth. The rest was Made in China.

  • ..... Life is not an MP3 player where we can enjoy our favourite songs, but Life is like an FM radio we have to learn to enjoy whatever comes.

  • ..... Single is not only a status. It is a word That best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy Lfe without depending on others.

  • ..... A Girl's Facebook status: I am lonely! [12874 COMMENTS] Boy's Facebook Status: I am going to commit suicide now! [52 LIKES. 1 COMMENT: Who is gonna take your car now?]

  • ..... Time is a good teacher but unfortunately it can kill the students who aren't attentive.

  • ..... Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  • ..... Kid's dad joined Facebook, kid posted on his wall : "WTF!" Dad asked him "What is WTF?" kid replied "Welcome to Facebook..." ;)

  • ..... For those who are in love,True love comes only with one person. If it comes for the second time it is just a medicine to forget the first love.

  • ..... Sometimes I just want to run up to a stranger on the street and say "YOU'RE IT!!" and then run away.

  • ..... There is a "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, "us" in trust, and "if" in life.

  • ..... If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other!

  • ..... People intend to forget MISTAKES that they made... but they never miss opportunity to point out other's MISTAKE.

  • ..... Goodbyes are not forever, Goodbyes are not the end, they simply mean I'll miss you, until we meet again!

  • ..... Do You Have A Bandaid? ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ) Because I just scraped my knee ಥ_ಥ Falling For YOU! ♥
  • ..... Marriage is one of the main reasons for divorces :)
  • ٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱц =)

  • ..... HOT SURFACE, DO NOT TOUCH! “Hmmmm, I wonder how hot is hot" ……… AHHH!!!

  • ..... What happens in an exam : Tik tok, Mind block, Pen stop, Eye pop, Full shock, Jaw drop, Time up, No Luck!

  • ..... At times I feel that waiting for the right person in life is like waiting for boat at the airport.

  • ..... Dear Maths, all my life you made me find your X!! Listen buddy. .She's not coming back.. So please move on!!! Regards, Frustrated Student.

  • ..... A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. ;)

  • ...... Facebook is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good in it.

  • ..... Physics would have been much easier if 'Tree' instead of 'Apple' had fallen on Newton's head :))

  • ..... If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

  • ..... I'm the author of my life.Unfortunately I'm writing in pen so I can't erase my mistakes.

  • ..... Don't wait for the perfect moment...Take the moment and make it perfect...

  • ..... says if you need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service) lol!

  • ..... Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoe. Cant stand me? Sit down. Cant face me? Turn around and start walking!

  • ..... I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

  • ..... Without God our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday. Seven days without God makes one weak!

  • ..... Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

  • ..... I do it because i can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn't.

  • ..... ˙ǝןƃuɐ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ɯoɹɟ pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooן ɐ ƃuıʞɐʇ sı

  • ..... Your friendship means so much to me that...When you cry...I cry.When you laugh...I laugh.When you jump out a window...I laugh some more.

  • ..... Did you know that when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend ur arm out and smack'em in the head!?
  • ..... My friends status said, "suicidal and standing on a cliff." So I Poked Him.
  • ..... Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.

Source: Facebook Funny Statuses

Proton Preve - Drive It To Believe It


Proton Preve has proven to you that you don't need another car to have an accident with, you could just get one by yourself!